Tuesday, December 29, 2009

1967 Pontiac Firebird

I think it's a 67, it was spotted at Kentucky's Fried Colonel on International Drive across from Wet und Wild, it's got the seldom seen base overhead cam six engine, a brilliant idea but unfortunately much like other great GM ideas, under R and D'd. Sad, it coulda been awesome. This car was really pretty, it had New York plates, I'm assuming the frozen owners drove her down here.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Missile Toe

Santa comes but once a year
A fact you may find shocking
But when he does it's really nice
He nearly fills my stocking

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Sieg Heil

Merry Christmas, now get the fuck out of here

Thursday, December 10, 2009

This love is non exclusive

Animalistic function despondancy degradation jewelry
reception caucasoid trim fat organ lactation and glory

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

The scene on the corner of hwy 50 and Orange

If the Koreas unify we can expect more of this.

The worst load of shit I ever done heard

Ok, I'm an old fat punk rocker myself but if I ever stoop this low I would hope that you would take me out with a crowbar........in front of my wife and kids. I've done plenty of things beneath contempt but Marky Ramone you have a lot to answer for, with this 'blitzkrieg' twaddle you're offering up.
I saw them at the Anti-Pop festival and they were just a third rate Ramones cover band with the dreadlocked twat from some incarnation of the equally shit Misfits being Joey.
Listen, I've seen the Ramones, twice, and there was only one of them, to try and rest on the laurels of that greatness is a sin worthy of having your wig ripped from your head.......in front of your wife and children.

Mama Lion

Mama Lion, Mammalion, Mammalian.
These teats were made for feeding.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Be not afraid of death bro

for angels are watching you. Be in the wind eternally bros.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

More Pics of my Capri for Guy and Mr. Fubuloso

Bought in 1987 from the original owner for the princely sum of $550. Lost for a spell in my D-vorce then returned with a covering of mold in non-functional form. Sold new in Mouse Town by Paquette English Ford Line Dealer on Church Street and 441.

The Packford has been renamed

The wife did this

Video of The Karachi Krusher being thrashed last Sunday

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Consul Capri coming along

I painted my nasty ass drums with a candy fade, looks better than rust

Swallow The Yellow Prick Load

Awaiting the lunch crowd

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

My dream from last night

somewhere in East Orange County.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Hugh Jarse Du Jour

The camera actually took some width off of this Hugh Jarse, it was truly immense, the size of a Smart Car.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

3 for 1 Barber Shop

Erm, let me guess, head, pubes and asshole.
Am I right?

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Monday, August 24, 2009

Faggotry spotted at screening of Easy Rider

We all know it never rains once in Easy Rider but it does in summertime in Florida, hence the bagger umbrellas to protect the investments and asses of the old fucks and their old ladies inside the Enzian theater. Billy and Captain America didn't need these for their choppers but today's ancient codger needs them to keep his asshole free of raindrops and his Steppenwolf CDs dry as a bone.
As it turns out it was pouring when the movie let out so no doubt after they waited for the rain to let up it must have been way past their cocoa and beddy bye time before they got home.
The spiky front fender scared the shit out of me.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Nothing has kicked my ass more than this paint job

Pardon the shitty cell phone pics but there is a light at the end of the tunnel. It looks beautiful in the sun, pearl with tiny abalone flake below the belt, bigger shifty flake on top, silver stripe and scallops and if those French Kiss guys get off of their rumps I'll have them do the roof.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

The Warning!!!!!!!!

Do not let this POS get close to an English sportscar made by the Rootes Group.

Behind every cute souvenir lurks danger

Cheap tat

Monday, July 27, 2009

Young Dracula

This picture IS stolen from the internet

Here are The Plastscs

Made in China y'all.

Sorry, my blog has devolved into a catalog of badly spelled or grammatically incorrect package signs, but my imagination is kaput and I don't have much to say. However I did take these pictures myself and I did not merely purloin them from the internet.

Friday, July 17, 2009

This snack tastes nothing like dog

So the cannibal child turns to his mom and says, "Mom, I don't think I like grandma."
Mom replies, "Well push her to the side and eat the mash potatoes instead."

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Laugh not

this was sent to me in the strictest of confidence

Friday, July 10, 2009

Anarchist animal training

Those vicious, contemptible, evil, flightless, edible birds can be brought under control. Good to know.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

How could you?

Bubbles, you're my chimp...........mine, how could you do this to me???
You filthy ape!!!!!

Sunday, June 28, 2009


If indeed it is dead then I have lost another reason to keep on living.

This ain't right.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

When muriels go bad

This is art my friends!

Tubb's Buick getting a back window

I do work on shit, here I'm fixing someone else's shitty work.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Astoundingly adressed letter

that somehow arrived.
The name of the street should be "Infernal Drive."

Today's wussie biker

Small Fry

One of my favorite hot rods from when I were a wee lad, built around 1977.
It was lovely, still exists somewhere.
I still have that copy of Custom Car where these pics came from, mine's all tatty and stained.

Friday, June 12, 2009

This un

will eat you out of house and home and punish your sissy bar too.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Fuck you Chico

and the Man from Uncle.

Friday, May 29, 2009

Weebles Wobble But They Don't Fall Down

Here are some things that aren't Weebles.

Feel free to add to the list.

Leona Helmsley
Japanese Concrete Aircraft Carriers
Space Shuttles
Religeous Beliefs
The Watchful Eye Of Billy Ray Over Miley
The Watchful Eye of G-d Over All His/Her Creation
Johnny Wad's Libido
My Faith In Humanity

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

I need to unload a condo in Karachi


Friday, May 22, 2009


for me to know and for you to find out.
I hung out with a young kid tonight and traipsied all over downtown, I was intrigued, but with the baggage of years of living I was left in a state of nothingness.
I wish I could have said, "been there, done that" but all I felt was cheated, like I missed out on something, or knew too much.
I felt like I was there without being there, in hipster purgatory with greying eyebrows and wrinkles that go on until the ends of the Florida turnpike or the M1.
No one should ever have to go back to feel this, and no one should be set free from responsibility without having experienced the wonder of youth, that is criminal.
The time to enjoy your hormones is when you are young, not when (stastically speaking) your life is 2/3ds over.

Raise a glass of hell for me, will ya?

Memorial Day Barbecue 2008

This is a picture from last year's barbecue at our house, this year's been canceled due to the extreme dry spell we're experiencing.
See you Neanderthals at our 4th of July extreme cake stuffing extravaganza.

Free mustache ride

I had an idea for a two person Cher impersonator/drag queen act called Cher and Cher Alike.............It'll debut at Southern Nights in October.

PS, don't eat too much Sorbitol it will give you the runs like silly.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009


Look at the Consul Capri in this still from one of my fave flicks. The Pendle Valley Scooter Club's clubhouse was nearby, I used to go look at their fancy metalflaked hair dryers when I was a teenager. They went down for the filming of Quadrophenia but their scooters aren't in the film because most of them were way too flashy and 1970s.

This German POS gives me wood

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

I dig the new sports on Japanese TV

The art of competitive loofah-ing is in being vigorous without breaking the skin, it's not as easy as it looks, one has to understand one's skin. It is like being a Formula 1 race car driver,except there are no cars, no formula and you have to be # 1, you have to understand when chafing becomes bleeding, when a twinge in your forearm becomes cramps, these are things that only dedication and practice can bring, if you're up to it, bring it bitch!

Boys with breasts

I blame hormone fed chicken and diet sodas


Mixed messages a go-go.
What bus are these two riding on?

Horrific accident

Anything with two wheels is dangerous